Monday, October 22, 2012

Keep wondering.

Since the day, she became aware of her female-hood in amidst of flesh trade, she keep wondering, 'Why are men willing to put money down for what is so clearly faked?'

Why does the hetrosexual porn customer need the fiction of female desire to sustain his erection, instead of just naked female bodies?

And the only answer (ironically), she received from her inner/outer voices that the men aren't interested in the truth of women's experiences (She can possibly be wrong here. Correct her, if she is).

The porn customer's truth is one of paying for services; perhaps that's the only power he can claim in this interaction. But is that what gets him hard? His buying power? Why then they are (she is) advertised as prostitutes and paid to simulate their own desire?

For the man, who buys the service of a dominatrix, being 'topped' as attractive as long as it's a service. He feels in control of this fictional loss of control because he himself paid for it. Here again, he trades money for a fiction, not just for a body. Then, why do the men themselves act so unaware of this economy, when it must be an integral part of their excitement?

She is struck again and again by the parallels between the prostitution and the culture in general. The people inside -  those performing, those observing, and those managing the spectacle - are 'normal' people engaged in an activity more explicit but not different in underlying structure from much of the activity of our daily lives. Her lover quietly whispers to her (in bed) that the prostitution's only objective is to allow them (men) to define themselves and their culture as normal, because it's we (society) who call the flesh-trade marginal and perverse.

From in here, it looks like any clean division between the perverse and the normal is a false one, which allows (at least she thinks that) all kinds of oppressions to go unchallenged. It allows a father who rapes his daughter and say, 'I am not doing anything wrong. Look at those perverts out there.' It allows politicians to enact wars on drugs, wars on prostitution, wars on aliens while they trade favors with corporate dealers, pimps and coyotes out of their offices.

A part of her started to believe that prostitution does not subvert the culture, it mirrors it.

Well, she is still wondering..

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